Who are You Really?
One question I ask all my coaching clients in our first session together is, “What does the world say about you, about who you are? How does the world define you—or try to get you to define yourself?”
Think about it. It’s a difficult question to answer, because we’ve often internalized those messages so much that we’ve come to simply accept them as fact. We no longer see them as labels. Maybe you’ve been defined as shy, risk-averse, not good at math (or, conversely, the math-guy), never going to have a good relationship, a screw-up, worthless, a ______ (fill in the blank job), the peacekeeper, etc. All titles, roles, or identities that you’ve accepted as fact.
But are they really who you are? Are they what define you?
My dear friend, and very first guest on my Stories of the Magic podcast, Danielle Ernest shared a link to a blog post on Relevant Magazine’s website called “21 Things That Don’t Define You.” In it, Eddie Becker gives a list of ways we define ourselves or allow the world around us to define us. Things like…
- Your occupation
- Your family relationships
- Your vices
- Your race
- Your hobbies and interests
- Your geographic location
- Your sexuality
- Your emotions
I encourage you to take a look at the full list. These are the places most of us find our identity, It’s easier that way. It’s clear. It’s easy to communicate. And they make great excuses for success or failure.
The truth is, though, that none of these are the one way that truly matters. There is one category, one identity, that stands above the rest and is the only place to find our true identity: Your identity in Christ.
In that first coaching session, after answering this question, we dig into understanding who God is. Since we’ll get our identity based on what He says about us, we need to be clear on His character and know that we can trust Him. This is harder for many clients than you might think, which is exactly why we have to work through it.
Then we consider what God says about who we are in Christ—our Supernatural Kingdom Identity. It’s only from here that we can move into exploring, discovering, and putting together the specifics of who this particular client is, how God has uniquely designed him or her to serve Him.
The Relevant Magazine article ends with this quote:
“In Christ” grants us freedom, freedom from chains of being identified for anything less than being a child of God. “In Christ” gives us the opportunity to understand the identity of those around us, to see beyond the skin colors and the dollar signs, to see people for who they truly are. “In Christ” means all can come, leaving behind their sins, and join together to be identified once and for all as children of God.
This is why we start here in Leaving Conformity Coaching. To see yourself and those around you as anything more or less than we truly are leaves room for superiority or inferiority complexes, performance-based living, and never knowing what life can truly be like.
Get this right and everything else can fall into place. Get it wrong and nothing will ever really work like it’s supposed to. It matters that much.
If you’d like to get started on laying this foundation for yourself, check out my free video series called Reclaim Your Supernatural Kingdom Identity. It’s really too important not to.
Question: Take a look at the full list. Which ones do you usually use to define you? Which ones do people around you apply to you? What difference would having a clear view of God and of your Supernatural Kingdom Identity make? Talk about it in the comments below, or on our Facebook page.